I received this from a fellow jlander! It was very poignant considering one of our faculty lost her daughter in the recent Chicago train accident. Which I should mention, if I am not replying to email or if you do not see any entries to my journal in the next few days, it is because I will be attending the services.
One day someone' s spouse or parent died, and on that clear, cold morning, in the warmth of their bedroom, the family was struck with the pain of learning that sometimes there isn't any more.
No more hugs,
no more special moments to celebrate together,
no more phone calls just to chat,
no more "just one minute."
Sometimes, what we care about the most gets all used up and goes away...never to return before we can say good-bye, say "I love you."
So while we have it . . . it's best we love it . . . and care for it...and fix it when it's broken...and heal it when it's sick.
This is true for marriage . . and old cars . . . and children with bad report cards and dogs with bad hips and aging parents and grandparents.
We keep them because they are worth it, because we are worth it.
Some things we keep -- like a best friend who moved away or a classmate we grew up with.
There are just some things that make us happy, no matter what. Life is important, like people we know who are special . . . and so, we keep them close!
This recent lose of my colleague's daughter and this message below does serve as a reminder to me and I wanted to share it to remind as well. I don't think it means we should never get upset with people...to say everything is fine when it is not. At the same time, to not tell someone you love them when you really do, to not take a chance in life at something, especially LOVE, is such an incredible lose of potential. People are not perfect, including US! We are ALL on a path of growth. We are all at different places on this path. Sometimes we are quite a distance behind someone we love, sometimes in the same spot & sometimes quite a bit ahead. That roller coaster of life again.
I hope you take that chance at LOVE! What are you waiting for? You deserve it! Even if it is just a moment you get. You know that phrase, "It is better to have loved & lost, than to never have loved at all?" Well, there have been times in my life I TOTALLY disagreed with it! When? When my heart was hurting more than I thought it ever could! People who have passed away in my life, someone I have felt I loved/in love with. This is the time you feel like I wish I didn't love them because then you would not hurt.
I think there is a scene in "Something's Gotta Give" about this. Diane Keaton's character has a daughter who does not want to love because she doesn't want to be vulnerable to "fall apart". I can understand that! I think many people can! She tells her if she doesn't take the risk you NEVER will have even a chance to experience love & further WARNS her "What are you waiting for?" YES! Time is short! That message always gets me! Dare to be that fool! Dare to be hurt! The depth of your heart hurting is the depth of love you felt! You can never go wrong if you love! Others may if they are not living from their heart, but you are not the fool then....they are! Don't give 1/4 or 1/2 of yourself...give 100% only then can you get back 100%. I tell my students when we are discussing Wellness "the best way to get a massage is to give one!" :-) This is true of any aspect of love. Dr. Dyer talks about this..."What you put into the world is what you get in return." At times that seems odd but the older I get the more I am realizing it may really be true!
As I finish this Celine Dion came on singing..."I'm Everything I Am...Because you LOVED ME!" Think about that! HMMMM! :-) What does that mean then about what others are? Many in life are not doing very well? Why? Maybe because they do not have anyone loving them! Today I had a student who I told, "It will be ok, don't worry...relax this weekend & we will talk next week." I swear I could hear the weight from his shoulders dropping to the floor! Doesn't matter what it was troubling him but it reminded me that is sometimes all we need is to hear that!
That saying, "That which doesn't kill us makes us stronger" TRUE! Hard to feel or KNOW that when you are in pain, but I think how we get through it & make sure it doesn't kill us depends on those we have loving us. This is why I get so upset with people who don't "have time" to talk to people, who do not want to "fight" for love. Just like I mentioned in a past journal about the movie "Laws of Attraction" Pierce's character says, "Divorce is when suddenly a couple finds a fight that they never thought they had in them...if only they used it to save the marriage." NOOOOO!!!! I'm not saying all marriages can be saved, should have occured in the first place or that marriage should be about fighting all the time. I'm just saying many times we really don't work from the heart. We get into routines or take people for granted etc. And this is not just marriage....any relationships!
Just a day to listen & feel what my heart is saying! A day when I do not have those barriers that EVERYONE has at times! So go hug, kiss & say "I Love You" to your mate, your kids, you parents, your siblings, your pets & smile at a total stranger! You never know what might happen! :-)