Sunday, August 13, 2006

13 Reasons To Smile

13 Reasons to Smile


Now that food has replaced sex in my life, I can't even get into my own pants.

 

 

 

Marriage changes passion.
Suddenly you're in bed with
 a relative.

I saw a woman wearing a sweat shirt with "Guess" on it.
So I said "Implants?" She hit me.

 

 

 

How come we choose from just two people to run for
president and over fifty for Miss America?

 

 

A good friend will come and bail you out of jail...but, a true friend will be sitting next to you saying, "Wow...that was fun!"

 

 

 



I signed up for an exercise
class and was told to wear
loose-fitting clothing. If I
HAD any loose-fitting
clothing, I wouldn't have
signed up in the first place!

 

 


When I was young we used to go "skinny dipping," now I
just "chunky dunk."

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Don't argue with an idiot; people watching may not be able to tell the difference.

 

 

 

Wouldn't it be nice if whenever we messed up our life we could simply press 'Ctrl Alt Delete' and start all over? AMEN, AMEN !!

 

 

 

Why is it that our children can't read a Bible in school, but they can in prison?
Wouldn't you know it...
Brain cells come and brain cells go, but FATcells live forever.

 

 

 

Why do I have to swear on the Bible in court when the Ten Commandments cannot be displayed outside?

 

 

 

Bumper sticker of the year:
"If you can read this, thank a teacher -and, since it's in English, thank a soldier"

4 comments:

siennastarr said...

Those were soooooooo worth reading!!!

:)
Jackie

deslily said...

yep, yep, yep to all the above lol...

many I have read before but it's always good to bring them to the surface again!

Not that you are old enough to know this, but the one about the sweat shirt and implants could have been a "Henny Youngman" joke!!..he was a commedian before your time! lol

xomywayox said...

I'd read it...but I can not see the pics...grrrr


Brenda

lurkynat said...

dear Deboarh
great jokes sweetie! howare the kitties? how areyou?
love,natalie