13 Reasons To Smile

13 Reasons to Smile

Now that food has replaced sex in my life, I can't even get into my own pants.
	Marriage changes passion. Suddenly you're in bed with  a relative.
I saw a woman wearing a sweat shirt with "Guess" on it. So I said "Implants?" She hit me.
	How come we choose from just two people to run for president and over fifty for Miss America?
A good friend will come and bail you out of jail...but, a true friend will be sitting next to you saying, "Wow...that was fun!"
	I signed up for an exercise class and was told to wear loose-fitting clothing. If I HAD any loose-fitting clothing, I wouldn't have signed up in the first place!     When I was young we used to go "skinny dipping," now I just "chunky dunk."
	Don't argue with an idiot; people watching may not be able to tell the difference.
Wouldn't it be nice if whenever we messed up our life we could simply press 'Ctrl Alt Delete' and start all over? AMEN, AMEN !!
	Why is it that our children can't read a Bible in school, but they can in prison?
Wouldn't you know it... Brain cells come and brain cells go, but FATcells live forever.
	Why do I have to swear on the Bible in court when the Ten Commandments cannot be displayed outside?
Bumper sticker of the year: "If you can read this, thank a teacher -and, since it's in English, thank a soldier"

Letter From Summer Camp

My Aunt just sent this to me & I thought I'd share it with all of you!

Letter from Summer Camp

Dear Mom & Dad,

Our Scoutmaster told us to write to our parents in case you saw the flood on TV and are worried. We are okay. Only one of our tents and two sleeping bags got washed away. Luckily, none of us got drowned because we were all up on the mountain looking for Adam when it happened. Oh yes, please call Adam's mother and tell her he is okay. He can't write because of the cast.

I got to ride in one of the search and rescue jeeps. It was neat. We never would have found Adam in the dark if it hadn't been for the lightning.

Scoutmaster Keith got mad at Adam for going on a hike alone without telling anyone. Adam said he did tell him, but it was during the fire so he probably didn't hear him. Did you know that if you put gas on a fire, the gas will blow up? The wet wood didn't burn, but one of the tents did and also some of our clothes.

Matthew is going to look weird until his hair grows back.

We will be home on Saturday if Scoutmaster Keith gets the bus fixed. It wasn't hisfault about the wreck. The brakes worked okay when we left. Scoutmaster Keith said that with a bus that old you have to expect some thing to break down; that's probably why he can't get insurance. We think it's a neat bus. He doesn't care if we get it dirty, and if it's hot, sometimes he lets us ride on the fenders. It gets pretty hot with 45 people in a bus.

He let us take turns riding in the trailer until the highway patrol man stopped and talked to us. Scoutmaster Keith is a neat guy. Don't worry, he's a good driver. In fact, he is teaching Jesse how to drive on the mountain roads where there isn't any traffic. All we ever see up there are logging trucks.

This morning all of the guys were diving off the rocks and swimming out in the lake. Scoutmaster Keith wouldn't let me because I can't swim, and Adam was afraid he would sink because of his cast, so he let us take the canoe across the lake. It was great. You can still see some of the trees under the water from the flood. Scoutmaster Keith isn't crabby like some Scoutmasters. He didn't even get mad about us not wearing life jackets. He has to spend a lot of time working on the bus so we are trying not to cause him any trouble. Guess what? We have all passed our first aid merit badges. When Andrew dived into the lake and cut his arm, we got to see how a tourniquet works. Steven and I threw up, but Scoutmaster Keith said it probably was just food poisoning from the leftover chicken. He said they got sick that way with food they ate in prison. I'm so glad he got out and became our Scoutmaster. He said he sure figured out how to get things done better while he was doing his time. By the way, what is a pedal file?

I have to go now. We are going to town to mail our letters and buy some more beer. Don't worry about anything. We are fine.

Love,
John

Need A Laugh?

OMG! You want a good laugh? Read this post on Women & Deodorant by this hysterical guy in WI! :-)

I posted in the comments...

Actually that picture reminds me of a study that was done where women are asked to smell a piece of garment & they can identify their husband from other husbands! HA!

I'm still laughing hysterically about...

"if these companies had their way we'd be on the rag all month with a Glade Plug-In up our asses." (previous comment!)

They need a new emoticon for laughing so hard you cry.

Now, hang on there is a bit of explanation needed here. The problem is not the idea of putting the shirt/dress on first, it is that we do & then put on the deodorant BUT THEN we have to change our clothes like a thousand times! Then we ruin the whole weeks worth of clothes. Like Michele Pfiefer in One Fine Day...she is trying on a million shirts & then we are still not happy! Ha! See you guys just don't care, you put a shirt on & that is it. Maybe even wear the same shirt more than once a week! Ha! We have to change a million times in one day! HA!

The hairspray & nail polish fumes & ingredients in our nose is probably what is killing us after using it for so many years!

NOTE: Look at the song...I'm not kidding...it is funny how these songs are perfect when I'm posting. I suppose deodorant is a MUST today for rocking someone in your arms! HA!

Danger Will Robinson!

You know during the winter when I was freezing, this was not my wish! Ha! A bit toasty here today I'd say. Good thing I'm nice & cool inside trying to work on my paper for my class I'm taking! :-) Would this qualify as procrastinating? Nah...just getting things out of the way so I can concentrate just on it!  

If you are going outside in this heat make sure to take your cold water with you! And give those people a break that have to work in this heat today. Buy a bottle of water for those officers, firemen, crossing guards ETC! No amount of money is worth working in this heat, it is their hearts that do it! Give them a break when they come home from work! Get them a nice cold drink, maybe a cool bath/shower ready or get them in the pool etc!

And double that sunscreen people! And the KIDS! Please take care of them! Gatorade! Of course when I think about it, when I was a kid & it was this hot, I was either in the pool or inside watching tv. Today they have video games & computers so I'm thinking they may not even be out playing. I say good day to go to a nice cool theater to see a movie! :-)

And if I see one pet outside in this heat someone is going to have the cops called on them! They rely on us to take care of them. You don't want them then give them to someone who does know what love means! Sorry but they give us such unconditional love so the least we can do is take care of them when they can't!

Well, stay cool!

Shot But No Cast So Far!

Well, so far Dr. Z. didn't put me in a full cast. He checked it out but it was early afternoon & I had not been walking on it that much. My next apt I made for late in the evening so he can see it how I do then. He gave me another cortisone shot. That makes 4 in 6 weeks! I closed my eyes again. The autoinjector with the numbing stuff is worse. I told him they should have you practice Lamaze a bit first! He was laughing. Ugh! He put another soft cast on with an arch support in it. He said I should notice a difference in 2-3 days. I sure hope so! I hate being so slow & not being able to just go & do what I want to. There are elderly people with canes passing me by! Ugh! Just took my sock off...sure now it is all swollen! Geez!

Called my sis after & she wanted to meet me for dinner up a bit north from my folks. We had some good cheeseburgers at this bar. Then she had to go to a meeting so I just walked a tad to the Barnes & Noble across the street.

First I got "Left To Tell" by Immaculee Ilibagiza. If you don't know about her she managed to survive the Rwanda Holocaust by hiding in her pastor's bathroom for 91 days with several other women. I have to write a paper for my last class on the Holocaust from this past weekend relating the Holocaust of WWII to some more recent examples so I thought this might work. I've wanted to read it anyway. Then I got "The Holocaust Chronicle" which was on special. It was a cool thick hard cover book with a time line & pictures & short stories etc. I also got my niece this cute Monkey Planner for school and matching tablet book. Look what is inside! Also a green set of small stapler, tape etc. She likes green! Green & monkeys seem to "be in".

Then I went to Coldwater Creek to look around, still haven't spent my giftcard from my birthday LAST YEAR! Didn't find anything again & my sis couldn't find where her meeting was & decided to come back. I sat on the bench outside with my shoe & sock off & putting my leg up on the bench. It was hot but there was a breeze so actually I liked it. It was 8pm so much better by then.

Someone emailed me after reading this post & said "Sometimes a root beer float is just in order!" Ha! It made me think of Snoopy & his root beer so I thought I would add the pix!

We went to this cookie dough place but we both had rootbeer floats. I haven't had one all summer. I really wanted something cold & with ice but we couldn't find anyplace with somthing like that. It has been mighty hot in these parts lately. At 10:00 it was still 92! We stopped at Jamba Juice but they had just cleaned the floors & it smelled like bleach in there & then when we looked at the pamphlet of items all the juices had like 150g of sugar & I'm like NO WAY! Starbuck's didn't do it either, except there were a few cute cops in there! ;-) There were a few cute ones on bikes too riding around! ;-)

Then my sis was in the mood to see Pirates of the Carribean. I could have waited but she has been a bit bummed this week so I decided to go for her. I also thought laughing might help my foot too. It was ok...some funny lines. Now, I didn't know that there was another Rocky coming out though! You know that music just brings back the old feelings of the first one. ;-) I hope it is good! Then there was a new KEVIN KOSTNER movie coming out too. YUM! It is a Coast Guard one & it really looks a bit like Top Gun but just helicopters now. Man I still remember going to see Top Gun in College with my hall director & these two guys. HA! I'd still be in  line at midnight to watch Kevin! :-) I don't really like Ashton but I can just drool over Kevin! I just hope Kevin doesn't die in it. There are too many with him dying! Dang.....look at him in that uniform & with those glasses...YUMMY...sorry I think I need a private moment...ok a few moments! ;-)

There is also a movie with Ben Stiller & a bunch of others called "A Night at the Museum" where Ben works there & at night everything at the museum comes alive. Looks cute.

Well, I'm hoping the rest of the week to stay home & relax...need some me time! Saturday I'm going to Bears Camp though. Yep...the Bears are back in town! We got VIP tickets at work so I'm taking a friend. Hopefully it will stay as predicted & be much cooler. I'll do a posting on it over the weekend. I haven't been in the past so this might be fun. Did I ever tell you about the time I got to dance with Walter Payton? Actually, when I was shopping a bit with my sis today I saw a poster that his wife will be doing a speaking engagement soon. Ok, well, hmm this must have been sometime between 1987-1989 is my guess. A friend from college & I went to his bar & it was his birthday. After we sang to him & he blew out the candles on his cake he thanked everyone & said he has always had this dream of him dancing with tons of women...ha! What guy hasn't! So we all danced with him then. He was so lovely & kind making contact with each woman for a bit. He had the most GORGEOUS eyes & smile...and that is why they called him SWEETNESS! And he was a mighty fine dancer I might add! ;-) Those hips had to do those quick turns on the field & they move wonderfully on the dance floor!

I can't believe it! It is 3:40am & it says it is 80 degrees outside! UGH! I'm staying inside tomorrow!
 

See I Don't Think Too Much!

Overall, you scored as follows:

79% scored higher (more stupid),
4% scored the same, and
17% scored lower (less stupid).

What does this mean? You are 17% stupid. This means...

You are far from stupid. Congrats on a great accomplishment!

Stupidity Score Requirements

Status	Needed Score
???	0 - 9
Pretty Smart	10 - 24
Fairly Smart	25 - 39
Smart, but Stupid	40 - 59
A Little Stupid	60 - 79
Stupid	80 - 89
???	90 - 94
???	95 - 100

Ok, where is that person who told me "I Think Too Much" HA! See I'm not that smart! Ok, so only 17% less stupid than me but that means I'm not the smarty pants you thought I was! HA! Maybe I just think too much "for you" ha! Can't get away with what you think you can! That may be the problem...or maybe you thought you would not still be the superman you thought then...well I don't think that would have been a problem at all, but I know egos can be fragile besides women play dumb sometimes Ha! :-) I love that scene in "My Big Fat Greek Wedding" when they play dumb with Tula's dad to to get her to work in the Travel Agency HA! And don't even tell me that guys don't play dumb...PLEEZ! Besides, why do guys think they are not that smart...geez....give yourself more credit! And when you think about it...what does that really matter beyond a certain level...I mean what is the MOST IMPORTANT part?! ;-)

I do wish they told you which questions you got wrong & gave you the correct answers....ugh the eternal high need for achiever! HA! But doesn't it drive you crazy when you don't know & how can you learn from your mistakes if they don't? Sorry, the prof in me! HA!

This Foot is NOT made for walking! Ugh!

AHHHHHHH! Yes, that is a SCREAM! My toes & foot sticking out from the soft cast are so big they are about twice the size of  my other foot! I drove 1 1/2 hrs, sat in class for like 7 hours & then I start walking on it & it goes nuts! I'm barely doing anything. Burning feeling, pain, pulling feeling, where doesn't it hurt! I want to take this soft cast off & see what is going on inside it. I even started taking my 600mg of Motrin & some Tylenol the last two days. At least my last Psych class on WWII was great. I really like this prof. I'm going to look what else he offers. I have another paper to write but I'll do it Mon. Well, tomorrow hopefully it will get a bit of rest. Heading up to the folks in the afternoon so I can lounge around there & relax. Monday Dr. Z. can look at my foot & see what he thinks.
 
I was just watching the 2nd half of Must Love Dogs. Yummy John! Man is he tall! And I love that dog! I want to get one so bad. Dusty says no though! Too small of a place he says.

You know watching the movie made me wonder how many chances does one get? I mean if you are meant to be together will you get another chance? What do you think? I like the idea they talk about where your heart expands each time a relationship ends to help you really with the next one. Hmmm? On that note I think I should go to sleep. Didn't get much sleep last night & had to get up early to head down for my class. Long day & well maybe I'll dream about this! HA!