Ok, I think I Can Talk Now

Ok, I think I can start this now. I know I promised to have this posted earlier but I spent all day yesterday on the phone....I'll explain later...I may have to do it in pieces & come back to it throughout the day so we'll see if I can get this posted before tonight.

Yesterday I spent absorbing what I was told & taking action by seeking out more information & trying to make appointments...Pff...you can't get into anyone for months. I waited a month to see this guy. I am calling Patient Relations & complaining big time. This is just ridiculous. I have gone there basically since I was a teen probably & my dad graduated from the Dental School there & was still active while the school was functioning & it has gone soooo down hill. They do not have enough doctors on staff if you can not get in for months. 

The doc says I need surgery. He says he even has numbness in his leg now for a year but I have muscle weakness in my toes. He showed me the MRI & the ones that are herniated & hitting the root nerve. He showed me also my other disks above which have degeneration & narrowing of space. He used the analogy of a hamburger & herniation is like ketchup coming out & then these other disks I don't have much hamburger in between. Ugh! Ya...its on my butt that is where it is at. I must be better if I'm joking. (shake head) He said he would go in very carefully because he does not want to disturb the other disks above. He said they treat the symptoms & not the MRI. He said to do a fusion on those now when they are not bothering me could be worse & that fusions can have more problems afterwards...great something to look forward to later...well he did say I may not have problems with them for a long time or ? My mom had this one that I herniated cleaned up & her disks are degenerated also & she is 68 yrs old & doing ok? But then I was much more active throughout my life than she is. It probably is due to all the times I fell on my butt roller skating, skiing etc.

I was very angry because I had MRI's of my back a few years ago & they told me the degeneration was "typical for my age range". He looked up the old MRI & saw I did have it but it did look worse now. I'm not sure what would have done that so quickly but I'm pissed because I could have been doing something about it long time ago! Why didn't they get me into PT for my back? Ya, lets just wait until it gets bad. See sarcasm...I'm pissed.

The first day he could do the surgery would be June 11th. He wants me to get my hip checked out first. I got the report on that & it says to exclude myositis. I looked it up on the web and it says your immune system attacks your muscles. It is not a pretty picture. Sigh. I'm just not doing real well with all this. I mean I know there are many with so much more to deal with but...and I can't get into any orthopedic or rheumatologist for like months. There is one doc that is coming in special for me at 9am tomorrow to give me a 2nd opinion. I may go to an outside source also that I went to before. Maybe different doc though. The one I saw was so arrogant. 

Then the doc says I should not be carrying anything more than a 1/2 gallon of milk. Ok, excuse me but I asked my doctor's nurse numerous times & she said "Do your normal activities" after they got the MRI report. I called after the neurosurgeon got the report & that nurse says follow your primary care physician's directions! Ok, so basically you told me something that can hurt my back! I'm furious! 

One of my colleagues had mentioned Vax-D being in Chicago and to check it out. I looked it up online & BC/BS to see if they would cover it. Of course not! Ugh! I did call the place & they said they do not charge as much as if you have insurance & will work out a payment plan. I talked to them for quite some time & asked questions. I'm going for a free consultation on Tues. I would rather not have surgery even for this, with downtime and just why bother if you don't have to. I can't get the surgery done until June 11th anyway so? I asked my doctor's attending today & she said he would not mind me trying it. She said the ones they get back say it didn't help but that may just be the small percentage that doesn't help that they see. True.

I'm just very (SCREAM). I know people have all sorts of things happen to them much younger & I'm not special that things can't happen to me but I have plans still & I WANT TO DANCE! ;-) I have to have my hips (and my back) if you know what I mean! I still think this isn't right. I haven't been bungee jumping in my life etc. It is that dang backpack in college with all those big Chem & Math books for Pre-Med. Ugh! The kids are lucky now to have rolling backpacks! You know I am not very smart...I should have had some guy carrying them for me. HA! Ya, then I'd probably marry a guy & he'd have back problems now & then he wouldn't be able to DANCE ;-( so where would I be then? Seriously, I'm sure that foot injury & walking on it wrong from 3 1/2 years, boots, cast etc has not been helping. And after surgery still is not good so that is I think 6 years now.

I only told my one brother who lives near me so far & didn't tell him about the hip issue...suggested something else has to be looked into though. I haven't even told my folks. I guess I just wish I could figure this all out first or not tell them the hip issue & worry them until I know for sure you know. They are suppose to be coming in from AZ on June 10th. The doc said if I have the surgery I would be in the hospital for 2 days & then off work for 2 weeks...ideally. No PT for 12 weeks. Hmmm...he says he babies his patients. I told him right away that I'll only take that to a point. I know I have other back issues but I'm the one that does 20 reps when they say 15 & keep upping it. I was 3 months ahead of therapy for my knee. I know I'm older now but I still am that spirit down deep. This is why this is so hard for me...my spirit can't do what I want it to do & I'm not at all ready to give in.

Yesterday & today my top of my foot appears to be less numb but maybe it is just in comparison...my big toe is much more numb. It is on the bottom too now. I mentioned this to the attending today & she said how long has it been? Two years? I'm like no this just happened like 4 weeks ago. She said it takes 2 yrs before the nerve goes dead. That is good. I knew from my PT guy that nerves grow back 1 inch a month so...I guess as long as I'm feeling something that is good in a way. I can still wiggle my toes but they are weak. I have to call my PT guy back tomorrow. We got interrupted yesterday & I never got back to him.

I also have to take Sam & Ella in tomorrow afternoon. Ella has some spots on her shell now too??? Country has to get the few stitches out he has not pulled out himself. He has to go on 2 pills a day now for his Thyroid. I'm looking at the RadioCat for Country but it is $925 by me locally. I will have to just do some book reviews & save it up for him. Meds will be $30 a month so that would be paid for in like 3 years. All his other labs are wonderful so the vet said he could live to 22 & he is only about 14 now. Dusty has to get in next but I'll have to wait until I get my summer pay. These guys are eating up my extra money...do I even have extra money with gas prices anyway? I don't think so. It is just crazy. Well, at least Dusty is running around like crazy so he should be doing good. I wanted to move this summer & have some fun & I just don't know now if any of this is going to happen. Here I thought I was getting better? Ugh. I know I could be so much worse & others so I'm trying not to have this be whining but just saying "Dang! And then move it into motivation. Just seems tougher to do that lately compared to when I was young in college etc. I need that spirit back.

I need Chuck Norris to rehab me! :-) Get some of that Kick-Axx spirit back!

Well, that is it for now. I'll update you when I hear anything more. If anyone has had that Vax-D done please email me & let me know how it was for you. I think my guardian angel is really pooped. Although, maybe he is working hard & I would be worse if he wasn't as strong? Yep, mine is a HE! :-) And a very HOT one at that!