Not the Same Old Retirement!

OMG, what a hysterical night! My mom calls me from AZ where my folks retired to avoid the BLIZZARDS we get! Ugh! She tells me it is 77 degrees there today. Ugh! I'm sending her the ice that is on my SUV from the gutter dripping all over it!

Well, for some time now she has been telling me about this retired area they live in. I told her they should send it in as a show! I mean this is a combo of Golden Girls & Desperate Housewives! OMG! To hear the soap opera of all of them each week...it is like retirment communities are a 2nd college now! Who is sleeping with who (or is that whom?!), who goes commando (nope not the guys!) and on & on! Tonight she tells me her neighbor brought a magazine over a few weeks ago to show my mom & another friend of hers. My mom tells me it has those ladies housecoats...I'm thinking ok, now what the heck...my mom is 67 yrs old going on 22! There is no way in H she would want to look at a magazine with them, but I know my mom & this is just the hour before she gets to the point! HA! So then she tells me it has all kinds of physical therapy things, cosmetics, jewelry & TOYS! Did I hear her right? Toys? Of course I asked her...."Mom, did you say Toys?" and my mom say..."Yep!" No...she can't mean...."What kind of Toys?" and she snaps her mom tone..."What kind of toys do you think I mean!" UGH!!!!! Now, I suppose you have to know my mom & this would explain me quite a bit also! HA! Now I'm thinking well what kind of "toys" could it be in a magazine which has these other items, so my mom tells me the website address and I check it out! WELL....certainly not extreme but let me tell you... they got into quite a bit! (Shakes head!) I tell my mom..."I don't think people who need Physical Therapy items should be buying these things! (Oh wait...darn I better take that back! HA!) Or maybe this is why they need the Physical Therapy things." Can you imagine explaining to the doctor! HA! She laughs! Sure...give me an order of a housecoat, a back support brace & throw in some warming oil & an "X"...GEEZ!" OMG! She is such a hoot!  

Now I forgot to mention, I then said well you know Spencers has had items since I was a kid, not too bad but & she says, "Oh ya, they have a "fun store" in a town near where they moved from! I had no clue my mom knew this! I tell her one just opened here, but that is for the people who are from where I grew up. She is like what? I told her "Sure, you don't want to be seeing your neighbor's wife in there or your parents!" Ugh! So everyone from her goes up to the one where I grew up & they come down here! HA! Of course if everyone does that, it still doesn't solve the problem now does it! HA! But you get the idea! This leads to us discussing Ummm lets just say HBO & after all this she tells me I'm on Speaker phone! OMG!!! YES, my dad is in the room measuring to put the new ceiling fan in. (Shake Head!) Good Lord! Now that is hysterical itself...All I had to say was "he is measuring now?" and she says "YUP!" HAAAA! You see there is a male gene that is passed down from generation to generation that prevents them from reading directions first! It is just amazing they have not gotten into more trouble than they have. So yes, dad is measuring after they bought the ceiling fan they fell in love with & bought today! He'll make it fit! HA! The best one was at our first house, all my uncles & cousins came over to put up our first pool. They removed the grass, leveled & laid all this sand only to read the directions when something didn't seem quite right....yep...no sand needed! HAA! We never let them live that one down! This is why it takes them all night to put kids bikes & other toys together Christmas Eve night! HA! I then told my mom it was amazing they managed to have 4 kids...forgetting again I'm on speaker phone! HA!

Between her & that Ellen show piece I just posted I had to take some tylenol! This balanced out the stinky waitress I had tonight! I actually didn't leave a tip at all! I think I've only done that a few other times in my life! Ugh! Well, stay tuned...God knows what will happen next in Retirementland!