Sunday, September 3, 2006

More Drooling! ;-)

(Long Sigh) The man is just.... ;-) Mom finally decided she wanted to see the movie & of course I jumped at the chance. I came in late...not by much but my mom & sis where watching & my mom leans past my sister & flashes me a huge smile. I could tell she was so happy I kept begging her to see the movie. Last week she said, "I saw him tonight, 'A Walk in the Clouds' was on". I'm like, "Mom this is even better than that." Mom & I have fairly similar tastes. And my friends are always quite surprised how my mom will just drool over the men too. She has the hots for Antonio Banderas & quite frankly I agree! I remember when I was a teen she'd be driving us downtown in Chicago to go shopping & she'd be pointing out the cute guys. I know, I know, I'd be like "MOM!...can you watch where you are driving instead please!" HA! This will totally tell you how she is...she meets this guy that wants to date me my Sr. yr in H.S. He was a big guy, 6'3" or more & a football player & is quite a bit older than I was. The poor guy (don't feel too sorry for him he was a dog!) she made him stand up & turn around slowly so she could check him out. I'm not lying! HA! He was so embarrassed he couldn't tell me until we were going out for like a month. I just kept on him to tell me. You know now I'm thinking he should have taken it as a compliment really Ha! I mean she did ok it for me to go out with him so she must have liked what she saw.

Ok, so mom is joining me & the other women in the theater who are drooling. Bunch of 50 plus women again. The two ladies behind me are talking about how they live in Riverside where some of it was filmed. Then the one lady behind me at the end movie says "Finely" real loud when they finally get together! Oh I didn't ruin anything because you know it is rare for Hollywood to not have a happy fairy tale ending! HA! You could hear all the women crying too, it was so funny! They are sniffling etc. Yep, I had a tear rolling down my cheeck again too. I swear guys should go to these "Chick Flicks" because they would see what women least once in a while!!! I mean none of us really want this all the time. It would be exhausting even for us but certainly more than it usually occurs. And you know, I just can't believe that men don't want this too. I mean ya, ya sex but I think men do like romance to. I think they like the romancing & to be romanced. EVERYONE loves to feel special & loved. And to have the person we love feel we are incredibly desirous (yes, that is hot & sexy but something least I think so)

And it is so perfect that "The Mirror Has Two Faces" is on now. Great example. There is such a great scene when Rose (Barbra Streisand) is in the classroom talking about love. Here is the scene:

 "This is the scene at my sister's wedding.
She's getting drunk, regretting that she got married for the third time. My mom's sprouting snakes from her hair in jealousy. lt was perfect ...We've got three feminine archetypes: The divine whore, Medusa  and me. What archetype am l?
The Virgin Mary? - Thanks a lot, Trevor. No, the faithful handmaiden. Always the bridesmaid, never the bride.

lt proves what Jung said all along. Myths and archetypes are alive and well and living in my apartment. As l stood beside the altar beside my sister and her husband to be it struck me that this ritual, a wedding ceremony, is the last scene of a fairy tale. They never say what happens after.  That Cinderella drove the prince mad by obsessively cleaning the castle.
They don't say what happens after because there is no after. The be-all and end-all of romantic love was ... Mike?  Sex? - You have sex on the brain. Marriage. - But it wasn't always like that. The   th century had ''courtly love'', which had nothing to do with sex.  The relationship between a knight and a married lady of the court ... And so they could never consummate their love. They rose above ''going to the toilet in front of each other'' love, and went after something more divine. They took sex out of the equation, leaving them with a union ofsouls. Think of this. Sex was always the fatal love potion. Look at the literature of the time. All consummation could lead to was madness, despair or death. Experts, scholars and my Aunt Esther are united in one belief:  True love has spiritual dimensions, while romantic love is a lie.  A myth. A soulless manipulation.

And speaking of manipulation ... lt's like going to the movies and seeing the lovers kiss ...The music swells, and we buy it, right?  So when my date kisses me, and l don't hear strings, l dump him.
The question is, why do we buy it? Because, myth or manipulation, we all want to fall in love. That experience makes us feel completely alive.  Our everyday reality is shattered, and we are flung into the heavens. lt may only last a moment, an hour, but that doesn't diminish its value. We're left with memories we treasure for the rest of our lives.  l read, ''When we fall in love, we hear Puccini in our heads.''  l love that. His music expresses our need for passion and romantic love. We listen to La B√≥heme or Turandot, or read Wuthering Heights,  or watch Casablanca, and a little of that love lives in us too.
So the final question is: Why do people want to fall in love when it can have such a short run and be so painful? Propagation of the species? We need to connect with somebody. Are we culturally preconditioned? Good, but too intellectual for me. l think it's because, as some of you may already know ... While it does last, it feels f*&%ing great."

Isn't that just a great scene! I think I'll use it in class when we talk about Love. :-) Do you remember those "Love is..." comics? Hmm...I think I'll pose that question to my students. Make them come up with one each. That could be quite interesting.  

You know another thing that I realized was the director or editor of The Lake House left in the audio of the kissing. You know that lovely little sweet sound of the release of your kiss. Usually in movies music plays over it & you don't hear any of that. It really does make a difference in your feeling the emotions of them. I never realized that before today.

I think the lines that get me the most are:

(Something like this...trying to remember...)Kate & Alex are sitting on the porch. Katie is explaining to Alex what Jane Austen's plot of Persuasion is about...

"These two people get together & almost fall in love, but the timing isn't right. Then after many years they get a 2nd chance but they wonder...Has too much time past? Is it too late? Will it work (last one?)?"

I think all of life is "timing!" I suppose for good or bad, but it is also the risks we take. Like with the plot she is describing...will they take the risk & try again, and again & again if need be. Is it worth trying again, taking the risk & finding out. You have everything to gain and nothing to lose...or is there something to lose? The dream, the fantasy! That fantasy person we create in our mind. You know for some they would rather have the fantasy because it can stay and not be ruined by a reality of a "real, live person who is human & does have flaws". Don't get me wrong, fantasies are great, but why not balance the two. Keep a few fantasies (I'm keeping mine about Tom, Pierce, Antonio etc!) But take that risk, play out some of your fantasies & then create new ones to play out later.

Of course I also believe everything in life happens for a reason & a purpose...well sometimes not in the moment, but when I settle a bit. We may not always get what we want timing always seems to stink, or well maybe it is just "not yet" or for a reason I don't realize yet. Hmmm...but perhaps when we don't get what we want it is the best thing for us? We can learn a different perspective, grow and use this for the future. Maybe not take others for granted, love them with our whole heart...maybe with someone new, maybe on a 3rd, 4th etc chance in the future! :-) Ok, we'll think about this for awhile & see what else we come up with...


rebuketheworld said...

Your gonna laugh when I tell you this but I sware I think this guy has Asbergers. He is a loner but almost a social misfit. He is physically hot but he is sooo monotone in his movies. Something about him...what do you think?

chat2missie said...

He's one who gets better looking as he gets older!

shadierush said...

Great pictures, drool...

psychfun said...

Well, I would respond on the Aspergers this way to my students. We certainly can not use just a small sample of anyone's behavior to diagnose. Nor can we use just a few symptoms we see. Any one of us can have symptoms of many disorders at any time in some context. Could he? Perhaps? He would only know, well unless he has told someone. Just being "a loner" does not make one a candidate for Aspergers (link below). There are many people who are more introverted than others & the context again makes a difference. My students are always shocked when I come up introverted. They see me talking in front of the classroom & around campus & I'm ok in that context. New situations & people not always. So their sample of my behavior in the classroom is very different than personally & that is different than when I'm with family ETC. You know a great example which I LOVE is that commercial for GSN's "I Have A Secret" I love that stereotypic teacher who secretly says "I invented the glow in the dark condom!" HA!

psychfun said...

You know...thinking also brings up another point. Isn't it interesting how we (this is not just you...all of society) finds putting people in categories or bringing that up important. Does it matter? I mean Robin Williams I guess is BiPolar & Ben Stiller came out that he was BiPolar also. Does that matter for me to know? Do I love their work & if I didn't know would it make a difference? Do we just see "them" and not a disorder. Do we feel we are blessed that they have something that makes them different and that this is a good thing because it makes us see the world differently through their eyes & ears etc. All of us really are different in many ways.

Many times I have couples in my classroom & I love it in my Social Psych class when they do the love collage. It is amazing what they will comment about their partner that the other had no idea they loved about them. They think it is a flaw in them & the other thinks it is the bomb! HA! One is introverted & the other extroverted & they help each other with this...complement each other. Life & love is just soooo wonderful with all its variety isn't it. Too bad not everyone gets that!  

thegirlnexdoor77 said...

I am drooling now too...he is sooooo Hot!!! I need to go see that movie...and quick!!! LOL...that is too funny with your mom and your boyfriend...enjoyed the entry...put a smile on my face!!  TerryAnn