Don't feel like talking...

I'm sorry everyone but my news was not good today & I really can't talk about it yet...still "absorbing". I was doing so great...got there & my bp was 110/70 hrt 80, lost 6 lbs, in a great mood & wham the floor came out from under me. I'll explain tomorrow & I know I just keep thinking others are much worse so...but I was trying so hard to think positive & then it really didn't help. See then you wonder why it is hard for me to think positive. I should have known...when I think negative it isn't as bad as I think.

I think I need some time to just ground myself & get my fighting spirit back. I'm also investigating some other options tomorrow & trying to get my hip looked at & then in for a 2nd opinion. I need to do this ASAP, I do have muscle loss in my toes.

I am very angry though because it is probably due to the years with my foot being a problem and I saw back docs in the last few years & they told me that it was normal for "my age range" etc & I could have been doing things for it all this time.

I just need to take that anger and turn that into fighting motivation. I know my stages, the shock, get upset, then anger & then WATCH OUT...ok some fear then sometimes but we'll see. That is what I still am working on. Figures, I was just talking to Chelsea about not letting your fear stop you this weekend....ah ha...God saying practice what you preach. I just really feel like I've lost my fighting spirit I had when I was younger & man when I was in college. I wish I had her still. I have to go for now....sorry!

I just want to go hide on a beach & lay in the sun & listen to the ocean & sea gulls & hear God closer to me and have some reassurance.

Thank you all for your comments & emails! I promise to let you know tomorrow.

Not too Bad...

Well I guess it is still good because it does bring us to the weekend! HA!Not too busy of a day. Took Sam to get his shots. She wants him to come back Thurs again but he is getting better. She got concerned when we were leaving because as we were talking she was watching him apparently (good doc!) & he was in his shell & not coming out. Turtles can get stressed very easily & it can cause problems so she asked if I would mind if she took him & put him on the floor. She nudged him & he did come out. He was going nuts in the car. Hey, I'd hide in a shell if I had one if this person was giving me shots all the time. HA!

Next we come to Country's doc! He faxed me a little note on his Chem profile to talk to him about his Thyroid levels. 3 times the normal...ugh! Well, we are going to do 2 pills a day & see in 2 weeks where he is at. We also talk about the Radioactive Cat procedure. Have any of you had this done for your cat? I am taking Country in to get the few stitches out that he did not take out himself on Thurs, so I can ask some more questions. The cost is the issue primarily but...it would be nice to not have to worry about giving him meds twice a day & then if I go somewhere or I'm ill others can't do this so...his poor metabolism is so high & yet this kitty is not very low in weight...I wonder what will happy when they get it back down to normal? And he is not the most active but that is probably because it really exhausts him...especially on Catnip!

Of course they both sleep the better part of the day...what a life! HA! I plan on a bit more of that later this week myself. I deserve it. I woke up from goofy dreams again this morning. Ugh...Will the high achiever anxiety never end! HA! I think it may be because I'm contemplating going back to school? I don't know but I can't find a program I want. Then just the pressure of it? But it would be nice too? I get this crazy feeling every once in a while. I should justlet it pass...or God gives me something else that gets in the way...I think on purpose! HA! I just have this itch for learning & growing again. Maybe just taking a few classes this summer would help???

You know I just don't get all the attention I'm getting lately. Am I like wearing some kind of sign? The other day this older guy offers to let me follow him to the street he thought I should take. I took a different way because I wanted to catch the highway early to hit some errands but he was like really very helpful? Today, in the Jewel this young thing..maybe 17 is asking me if I need help. Now, I'm just strolling to the apples & not like looking & looking & being frustrated. I'm not even there yet. I said, well I was looking for X apples & he said oh doesn't seem like we have them here, calls across to a guy & he doesn't think so. Then I said well I'll just take these then but hmm the few they had were not very red  so he goes all the way in back & gets the new boxes & bring them out & then searches in them for the reddest ones. Then I had like 5 in my hands so he walks fast to the bags & pulls me one off & holds it open for me to put them in. GEEZ! Where do you get this kind of service usually? I'm just not use to it. I wonder if he is registered for my summer class, has seen my website & is trying to get on my good side early? Ha! But then later these two older guys, look like managers, are asking me if I need help. Maybe I just look like a pathetic person who nees lots of help? Maybe they want to get me to leave as quickly as possible? Ha! I have no clue but it is like guys are running to help me & I'm like what is the deal here? I could see if I looked like some drop dead gorgeous thing but I'm far from that! It is just in the last couple of weeks? Hmmm, who put the video tape on YouTube of me? ;-) Ha! Of course I'm kidding! I'm not use to all this attention & I'm certainly not asking for it! Weird!

Well, tomorrow at 9:30 I have an apt with my neurosurgeon for my back. Wish me luck. Actually the really wierd thing is last couple of daysI have been getting a warm feeling every so often in my tushy...hey maybe it is being felt by the men HA!....and then I had real strong tingling on top of my foot the last couple of days, my left quad was killing me for 2 days & my outside edge of my foot is hurting BUT....I think I have more feeling on the top of my foot...not as numb...really odd. I'll see what he thinks tomorrow. Let you all know what is going on by evening.

I went to B&N to do some research for my students on Freshmen experience ideas...like how to study etc. Bought one book, went ick to many others & took some quotes from another to share with them.


I also got the NEW SARK book "Fabulous Friendship Festival". I'm so excited to read it. I'm taking it with me to the doc. I love all her books but especially "Eat Mangoes Naked", "The Bodacious Book of Succulence" and "Succulent Wild Woman"...now that should tell you something about me? HA! ;-) I think I told you a while back about meeting her & when I got up to her to take a picture the person snapped it & she said "Wait!" and kinda ruined the picture running forward. She pulled the Reserve sign off one of the chairs, altered it to say NOT RESERVED, held it in front of us & then told the person to take the picture! HA! I'm not sure what she saw in me that she did that for me & not the person before or after me but somehow I think it really fit. I have the sign too! :-) I am going to get her to sign it & then frame it & hang it in my office with the picture of us. You can watch a little movie with her here!

Ok...have to get to bed so I can get up early for this doc apt.

Weekend Fun

(She sent a blue one up yesterday)

Well, Sat night my bro dropped my niece back off & we went to one of her favorite restaurants since she was a baby...Old Country Buffet. Well, with kids they can pick & choose & you get them to eat. Good deal for them too. My niece started this thing when she was just a baby of when she gets a free balloon of letting it lose outside and watching it. Since my folks live in AZ in the winters the last two winters she releases it to go to them. They have even "brought it back" a few times for her. ;-) They will call & say it is in their tree in their backyard etc. :-)

Well, my niced didn't eat much. Probably because she wasn't feeling great. She is having Asthma problems the last year with cats. She has a small dog at home but about  a year ago she came to my place & picked up Dusty, who she has loved since she was a baby, and she got all red & itchy. Over time now she is getting worse & worse with her breathing. She says "I'm fine" but you can see her struggling to breathe.

She was only in my place 15 min this time. She did sleep at her dad's so she was there less than 12 hrs & they have 2 cats & a new puppy. They had the cleaning woman Vac. the furniture & they live in a new Condo but she just has problems. I wish her mom would take her to someone & maybe she an get on some meds. I then took her to Barnes & Noble & we read for like 2 hours. She loved all the pirate books with maps & little pockets with treasure clues...Nancy Drew had one too. I think it is from her love of the movie "National Treasure". Then we head up north to my folks house for her to sleep away from the cats and we had a graduation party up north Sun. She had difficulty all evening breathing. My bro had given her med & actually stopped by B&N to give me more just in case. As she was sleeping she was still struggling. I had her get up & we went into the bathroom & ran the shower with hot water for steam...figured maybe that would help. Seemed to be a bit better? I was up until 3am watching her on & off. I slept in my other nieces bed to be near her & during the night I heard her gasp or something? All I know is a bolted out of bed to her without even thinking of my 2 herniated disks! Ugh! Didn't seem to be worse though. She was ok & in the morning she seemed much better. Her tonsils did too. She had run 99.7 so I gave her some Children's Motrin & that worked. In the morning I gave her some Rubutussin & that helped. Her uncle has a sore throat now for a week to so maybe something nasty also going around?

(This is one of the presents I gave her!)

Sun she got up early & seemed good so I got her to take a hot bath to relax. Then I did! :-) We headed to my folks town Carnival we noticed on the way up there. Spent about an hour. She got to ride the carousel which is her favorite. Almost did the wall but I suggested with a skirt on that may not be the best idea. :-) Then we got ready for my cousin's college graduation party. We had fun. My cousin's bro was in from CA. He is out there trying to be an actor. He is on CSI every week but he is an extra! You see him sometimes in crowds etc but all the parts of bodies is his! :-) My niece has a crush on him & then one of her other cousin's who is a year older. Man all the kids got so much older. The boys all shot up in height & all their faces look older....man. It was cold & rainy but we still had fun. This one friend of the family is always a hoot...has us in tears. She is very much overweight & when she was taking pictures she was telling my cousin "Now Look Hot!" Then she turned sideways & asked my cousin's bro who was taking the pictures "Do I look fat?" Then her mom was doing video & she had this pant suit with a jacket on...top underneath...& she pulls her jacket up & yells "Girls Gone Wild". I'm still cracking up. She is just sooo much fun. She has an incredible voice too. If I ever got married I'd want her to sing at mine! Family dynamics are always fun...and so predictable too which makes it so funny sometimes. My uncle is also a riot...he always has the jokes and he got up on this chair & I'm like what is he doing? He got up to hug my sister's boyfriend goodbye. HA! The man is in his 70s but geez! Two people, separately in less than 5 min where saying how beautiful my niece is. They had not seen her in such a long time. Oh & I found out my cousin...lets see cousin's who party it was sister...she is pregnant. Due Jan 3rd. This will be her 2nd. She has a girl just over 2 yrs. She made this t-shirt for her daughter that said on the front "I've got a secret" and on the back it said "I'm going to be a Big Sister". That is such a great idea.

I got her a funny card but also this one that says:

"If I could give you anything as you graduate from College, I would give you a candle that burns as brightly as the light within you, the light you are...I would tell you to keep it burning no matter what. I would say don't let the well-intentioned extinquish it. Don't let the Mean-Spirited blow it out. Don't let your light flicker and fade because of everyday challenges & concerns. The world is large & no one can illuminate it alone, but it is amazing how a single candle, burned brightly, can light so many others.

(Inside) The world needs your light. Hold your Candle High"

I loved it! I really do believe that & I even got one for me to put on my bulletin board in my office. I'll have to take a picture & post it so you can see how colorful my bulletin board is. My students love it. I love it as well. This card really is speaking to how I say there are some people who smile with their eyes. They just have this glow, like my niece, and they walk into a room & they just make it so much better, they raise the consciousness & light up the room. This is what I mean when people "Wow Me". I wish I had more of that. I feel more like that when I'm with my niece. I think it is down a bit for me due to all my injuries & not being able to be myself lately, but it is burning a bit brighter with each day. Not there yet but plugging away at it.

I got my cousin these first two. I had bought them for my 2nd bedroom a few weeks ago which has bright orange, yellow etc colors in it.



This one I couldn't find for her. I got it for my office.

I also got her a journal book, book of cool quotes, the courage willow tree angel, Chelsea picked out some cool hot colored roses & a small butterfly balloon (the one on sticks) & one a star with congrats on it. Actually, the gifts were from my bro, my nieces & I. Oh & then I had this bronsing brush from Victoria Secret so I gave her that...just a bunch of fun stuff.

Well more later...

Another Relaxing Day!

Hi!

I slept good last night...well once I went back to sleep! HA! I got hooked on watching (listening) to ELO videos on YouTube after reading some alert with the sock puppet one. Can't remember who posted it but you can look on my other journal to see it...Mr. Blue Sky!  I got up leisurely when I wanted to & putts on the computer a bit. Doc called & said my x-rays were all clear! YA! Vet is faxing report on Country's blood work. I'll get it tomorrow. Took Sam to get his shots & she wants him to come back Monday! Ugh. Well, Sam had to run errands with me all day! HA! Did some shopping...but didn't find anything. I have a $40 credit burning a hole in my pocket...can't find anything I like.

Then Sam & I picked up my niece. She looks different again in just 2 weeks. We had a very interesting conversation about "Best Friends". She thinks you can only have 1 & she can't decide between her two friends. She also said that sometimes the girls ignore her....that was something to discuss with her. She also likes her "step-brother".... is that? Well, I guess it is like a Brady Bunch thing, mom's current husband's son but well he thinks girls are icky. He is a year older & I said well boys feel that way longer than girls! Ha!

I got her this awesome kit of play money for her to practice & when we went for dinner I had her counting back change we should get. The manager who was helping us said most of her employees can't do it on their own. I said that is exactly why I want to make sure she can. It is one of my pet peeves I guess. Then I had gotten some treats & toys for her daddy's new puppy which was a surprise to her. She gave Toby (changed from Quincy) his toys. He is a golden lab...I thought retriever but not. He is soooo adorable! Listens to me more than my bro. HA! I miss my dog now...it has been 17 yrs he is gone. He died soon after I got Dusty. I wish I could have a dog. Sigh...

I had bought some journals books for my niece & she started her Summer To Do List...horseback riding (she has never done!), Dairy Farm, Zoo, Singing Lessons, Rock Climbing (the wall)....

Well, another relaxing good day of vacation. Tomorrow I think a day of cleaning...ick...but good and then evening with my niece.

A Good Day! :-)

HI!

Today was a really nice day...ok yesterday! :-) Well, first I had to head up to the doc & get an x-ray. Tuesday I was eating my salad from my favorite salad restaurant & I thought I lost a filling. NOPE! It was a piece of metal with 3 sharp ends. Wanted to make sure no other smaller piece went down without my teeth crunching down on it. I'm happy to say none did! Some days I really think my Guardian Angel should be getting overtime pay! ;-)

I then headed to Nordstrom's Rack. I found this really cool shirt for my niece who will be 10 yrs old in July. She wants a Cheetah Girls party. She even found a Cheetah pattern bathing suit with me. Well, this shirt has a white t-shirt & then a pink strap tank (sorta) over it with brown cheetah pattern. Hard to explain but I think she will love it for her party. I also found her this really cool kit of play money. She is learning about money now & doing division also. I'm going to work with her on it this weekend. We can play "shopping" HA! I know pathetic but....one of her many things she wants to be is a dress designer, so I can buy her dresses & she an be an entrepreneur that way I can get her "earning money" rather than "spending it" Ha! Maybe I should take this crash course too HA! Lets see how much she comes up with for the prices of her dresses! Ha!

Then I met my wellness group at an Indian Restaurant near where I grew up. I had a bit of Indian food at the Indian Cultural Center once but it was really just vegetarian meals in general. I tried almost everything today I am happy to report. Check that off the list of things to do in my life. I didn't like too much though. It was a buffet & I'm sure there are other dishes I could try. My friend was telling me "this is not hot just spicy" now she is Mexican so...ha! Needless to say I found them "Hot & Spicy" and well that is ok for something else but food I have to watch. It felt good to try something new & grow a bit in a way.

We had a fun time...the best was after someone mentioned something it reminded me of Bill Cosby's routine of "Dad is great, gives us the Chocolate Cake" and when he & his brother thought their names were "Jesus Christ" and "God D. It" ...this new woman in the group said "Oh and the one where he said...." then she says "Maybe that was Cheech & Chong" OMG...I'm still laughing hysterically...like ya I would always get those two confused! HA! We were dying laughing. I'll never forget that & it will be like a funny thing to say from now on.

We then went to The Great Harvest Bread Company. I tried to avoid it usually....ha! Soooo good! I love the pumpkin bread...yep got a muffin for tomorrow morning & a loaf to share with family at a graduation party I am going to on Sunday. I also love the blueberry loaf & thankfully they did not have it today. We all had pieces to try so we shared. I tried Apple Scrapple, and sampled from my friends Popeye & the Cheddar Garlic. While I was there, some teens were working & I asked if they went to the high school I did. The school is across the street. They said yes & quickly showed me their yearbook they just received. I flipped through looking at the teachers. Just a few left and man so many more. The yearbook was now all colored photos & the Seniors pages were laminated...which I don't get? I mean you can't write anything on them then because it will wipe off right???

Then we were all going to head to Trader Joes after this but ran out of time. I go there when I need to, so no biggie. They went home & I headed to Yankee Candle to pick up a diffuser my cousin suggested for her graduation gift. Next was Carsons to get her my favorite Willow Tree Angel "Courage" (check out my other journal to see!). While I was there I talked with one saleswoman & we discussed how Carson's has changed. They had no graduation items & she told me they didn't have anything for Easter...not one bunny. They also only had 4 different summer dresses for my niece's age range! GEEZ! Needless to say I didn't stay there long.

Then I headed to a Gold Crown Hallmark...geez I must have been in there an hour. Got some great Cards, my cousin some items for graduation which I'll share with you later on my other journal, and some cool wrapping. I then headed home & went to my Hallmark to find the hot pink curly bow the other didn't have. One of my past students from spring works there & we chatted for 30 min & smelled candles. She got to give me a free soy one doing her little talk about them. :-) ME LOVE FREE THINGS! HA! I did buy a lilac one. :-) I tried it a bit tonight. Didn't find my pink bow though. :-( Have to go out tomorrow. I did find the diffuser the same price & it came with a free votive & holder...I got it & will return the other one! :-)

I came home & was exhausted...well I only slept 5 hours last night, so I laid down at 8pm & set the alarm for 1 hour....RIGHT! Woke up at midnight! HA! Thus why I am still up now! So much for straightening out my hours! I've always been a night person, but this is a bit more. Even when I was in college I would start studying late at night. Well it is quieter then. Later I even worked the grave-yard shift at the desk at the guys dorm because basically I got paid to do my homework that I would be doing in my room anyways! HA! :-)

Well, it was a nice relaxing day and hopefully tomorrow (or today!) will be. I have to take Sam back for his last (hopefully) shots. I have to call on Country's labs. Did I tell you about that? Ok tomorrow. I might have to pick up my niece tomorrow too? Not sure yet. If not I'll have her on Sat through Sun's party. Can't wait to have fun with her. She is my angel.

I feel like there was something else I was going to "Think About" with you but can't think of it right now! HA! I know it was something deep to contemplate??? Hmmm...

New Journal!

Hey Everyone...

Well these are some interesting changes to the features in the journals. I like the insert image & spell check! :-) Not thrilled about losing the light purple text color they had.

What I'm most excited about & wanted to share with you is I started a new journal. This has been perculating for some time. I started this with my students. I make powerpoint slides with inspiring images & quotes for each day. Sometimes we didn't get to them & some are absent so I'm going to be sending them via email starting this summer.

With this idea in mind I wanted a place to keep all my images, quotes & stories that could be somewhat categorized besides just saved in my computer. I thought I could go to them anytime to perk my day up. I sometimes share them here but they are in between other postings so I decided to start another journal & make it public to share with you. I called it "Something Else To Think About"! :-) I hope you find my postings helpful. You can email me with anything you might like and I'll consider posting it. Please do not be offended if I do not post it. Everyone has different tastes & it is really something that speaks to my spirit & I just offer it to whomever also finds it speaks to their spirit.

I have two entries posted so take a look & get the feel of it a bit. Enjoy!

Vacation...Here I Come!

Hi!

Well, today was my first official day of Vacation! YA! Odd feeling! 3 weeks off & then I will have 1 or 2 classes on T & TH only so 4 day weekends & then a day in between off! :-)

Sat was graduation & our Lt. Gov did a pathetic Graduation Speech! It was a political speech & not a motivational one for grads. ugh...Politicians! My back didn't like the folding chair either! It is a bit stiffer now. Numb foot is about the same...called the doc & they are going to have the nurse look at my MRI & call to let me know a bit more.


I want to go to some beach & just lay in the sand, listen to the ocean waves & the sea gulls & relax for a few weeks! Maybe a lovely walk picking up pretty sea shells...building a sand castle...Sigh....

Ok, so a bunch of fun on the beach could be the next week! HA!
 
Today I took Sam & Ella to the vet today. Went to the other location & got to meet the reptile doc. Sam had to get the same shots today & I have to put some ointment on the top of his neck & shell. She thinks a burn. I have the light the highest height??? Have to go back Wed & Fri for shots again. They are both doing ok weight wise...now Sam isn't overweight but same weight??? I don't know. I got them some new ledges for their tank & bought a little pool they had at Petsmart to have them swim outside this summer. I got them walking in the grass a bit today. All the guys in my apt came out to watch. HA! Doesn't take much. Too bad they are all young things! They have been helpful to me with my back I will say. In fact lately I don't know why...like this guy probably 50s in the grocery store asked me if he could help me find something. I was just walking down the aisle & wasn't really searching for anything. I was looking for Purina Puppy Chow...suppose to give Sam & Ella some. I told him it was for my turtles & he was like all interested to know about them????

Then there were these two guys in Barnes & Noble. I asked for my items for graduation gifts & they both came helping me. One I'd say a bit younger than me & the other is I think 5 yrs older. Well, short story is I ended up having a lovely 30 min conversation with the older one and he invited me somewhere his treat. Hmmm! Gave me his card for his other profession & that is how I know he is 5 yrs older. We were having a great time laughing at the humor books. Like the one with all the warning labels...don't blow dry your hair while sleeping in the bath tube etc. HA! And hey he is a Cubs fan! Had a Cubs watch on & a t-shirt under his button down so that certainly is in his favor! I'll let you know if anything more comes of it but it just feels odd lately...that is not quite the right word? Hmmm? Figures with my back out of commission. I always have lousy timing!  I just never really think they are interested? I don't know maybe he was just being nice?

I got my first summer flowers today too. Bought 3 different color little violas. I'm going to plant them tomorrow.

Yesterday I spent the day with the oldest of my two bros. We did some shopping, had a nice dinner & then saw Spiderman on the IMAX. It was a very nice day with him.

Well tomorrow (today) I take Country to the vet in the morning. He is getting his teeth cleaned, exam & his thyroid tested. I think it is up again and he has this weird jerking but I don't think seizures? He seem very cognizant when he twitches? Maybe tourettes? HA! Seriously, I do think it is something? We'll see. Dusty will have his turn in a few weeks. I may go see "Georgia Rule" with a friend tomorrow night. I can't wait to see it. It was 94 here today but lovely. Looks like it is going to get cooler now & strong storms staring tomorrow afternoon...ugh! Where is that beach!?!
(she should have blonde hair but...and I wish my hair was that long...getting there...and it isn't curly but she is certainly my spirit)